I Dair(y) You
This place might not fill your instant ice cream craving, but it does guarantee a different yet fantastic type of Sundays – one that has more to do with using one’s mouth for praying than with binging on a sweet, refreshing M&M’s Milk Chocolate Blizzard Treat.
Hip Hip Hurray
Although hipsters don’t usually identify themselves as such, the subculture is typically used as a pejorative way to label those who are pretentious and overly trendy. Since they consider themselves to be unique, they take pride in having an identity like no other, by actually by doing so they contradict themselves as they create a group identity of people who perceive themselves as special. This sign mocks those hipsters and encourages them to return to their faith, as Jesus loves them no matter how “cool” they are.
Stop, Drop And Pray
Hell is said to be engulfed in flames, which is why the fire safety precaution taught in school to “stop, drop and roll” will not work if, G*d forbid, someone were to end up doomed for all eternity. The sign lures those who believe in heaven and hell, so our guess is that it is not intended for those who have lost faith completely. On the other hand, better safe than sorry, and if going to hell is on the table, one might as well just go to church!
Trust Me, I’m A Professional
Noah might have been an amateur carpenter, but according to the Bible, he still made a better boat than the professional architects who drew up the Titanic blueprints. By using wit and humor, whoever thought of this gem wanted to pass along the message that God’s work is impeccable, while jobs carried out by humans carry many flaws. Therefore, if someone is looking for a path in life, it would be best to seek answers in a place that bases its strategies on the way of the Lord.
In The Eyes Of The Beholder
Dog lovers – this one is for you! The creatures otherwise known as man’s best friend has been given its much deserved titled thanks to the fact that they love us unconditionally, despite all our many flaws and mistakes. We do not always deserve that much affection, considering how we are all human and error in many ways whether we mean it or not, but the very least we can do is try to be the best people possible. Aspire to be the person your dog thinks you are.
Risqué and frisky, this is not the traditional “come to church” message one would expect to see hanging outside a house of prayer. Although it does not promote inappropriate behavior, one cannot ignore the fact there is slight innuendo in the text. On the other hand, whoever came up with this explicit sign may have had another thought in mind, such as lazy individuals waking on a Sunday morning and letting out a sigh and an “Oh God” thinking they have to attend church yet again.
Thi joke is as old as time, but the truth of the matter is – anyone with a wife or girlfriend could relate to it. Women often claim that while they may argue a lot, they are right most of the time. And considering the fact they chose the man in their life as their significant other, that goes to show their judgment is either spot on – or terrible. Regardless, this church decided to side with the females who attend their prayers – we just hope that call was a wise one!
Although it may not be the wittiest one out of the pile, this sign demonstrates exactly what it intends to – that what is missing from the church is you, nothing else. Looking for answers? Seeking a different path? Want to confess your latest doings? You have come to the right place, one that will not judge you for your sins or gossip about your actions to your next door neighbor. With this simple message, many might feel more obliged to attend.
Signs Are Everywhere
If you are looking for a sign, there you have it. It may not be in the form of lightning striking just a few feet away from you or escaping an ill fate thanks to an unlikely twist of events, but as they say, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Plenty of people look for an external sign, something that would suggest they need a change in their life. These letters might not be the spiritual sign someone has been looking for, but fate takes many forms.
Stop In The Name Of God
Tackling one of the most well-known soda drinks on the planet’s marketing system, this church thought it would be wise to speak to its younger audience by referring to their favorite beverage. At the same time, whoever wrote this sign made an effort to assert just how vital it is to be written in the Book of Life – and that it should not be taken lightheadedly. It would be interesting to see if teens really did show up to church after this message was posted.
Save A Soul
The American mass chain retail store that offers just about anything its customers could need and want is not the only place to save. While Walmart could keep a few more bucks in your pocket than other grocery stores and shops, if one is interested in saving their soul, the place to find redemption and peace of the mind is the United Methodist Church, according to this sign. Still, whether they intended to do it or not, this sign also gives free advertising to Walmart.
If your kids chant “we hate church” every Sunday morning and beg you not to go, just show them a picture of this sign, and soon your mornings will be a hell of a lot easier (pun intended). The number one church abominator is – who else? – Satan himself, and no one wants to fall under the same category of the one who rules over hell. The sign also goes to show this particular church is the holiest of all places since Satan himself was supposedly quoted saying he hates it.
Hit ‘Em Where It Hurts
Exodus 20:7 reads: “Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain,” which is one of the one commandments. The commandments means to stress that blasphemy is prohibited, and more specifically, that the misuse of the name of the God is forbidden. An abuse of the name of God could lead to all sort of misfortunes, so it is best to stay clear of doing so. That is why this church thought to warn others to refrain from carrying his name in vain in a creative way.
You don’t really understand what having a bad night is like unless you have had a mosquito stuck in your bedroom all night long and have not been able to swat it. Waking to that buzzing sound next to your ear is just the tip of the iceberg when compared to being bit in particularly sensitive places, such as the bottom of your foot or next to your little toe. Clearly, Noah should’ve banned both male and female mosquitoes from his Ark, that way we wouldn’t deal with them now.
If you are going to be a part of a community, the first thing you need to know is that naturally, you will not be able to bond and connect with everyone in it. This rule of thumb also applies to other social situations, such as collaborating with coworkers in the workspace, befriending friends of friends, and so on. This church sign states the obvious but also sets expectations by explaining its attendants with a dessert metaphor. If you ask us, we think that’s the best way to go!
Straight And Simple
Instead of beating around the bush, whoever came up with the concept behind this sign was probably either not having a great day and could not be bothered to think of anything more interesting to write, or simply thought the best way to get their message across was to state the obvious. Although we find it funny, we doubt this made anyone cancel their Sunday brunch in favor of going to church, so it defeats the purpose.
Cry Me A River
Rain dances were believed to work by many, but nowadays, it is more common to think that prayers work better. Due to global warming, summers have never been hotter that they have these past few years, which has serious effects on crops and farms. Droughts have been killing off plants uncontrollably, and so many prayed for rain to help them through the hottest months of the year. However, this particular town was through with it raining cats and dogs, so they put up this sign.
They call it Sin City for a reason – Las Vegas is not the type of place one would go to for soul searching or salvation. The number of people that have returned from the capital of casinos with absolutely no recollection of what happened is stunning, especially keeping in mind that many of them winded up walking down the aisle and thus desecrated the sanctity of marriage, only to get that marriage annulled the very next day. In church, “what happens in Vegas is forgiven.”
Crazy But Lazy
Maybe not the wittiest of signs, but The Lighthouse managed to come up with a sign that puts things in perspective by suggesting that even when life feels crazy and everything goes by at the speed of light, it is best to find some time to stop, relax, and enjoy the show. While seeking answers and a path that is right for you, one could find the answer right under their nose since “Jesus is the way way.”
Diversity Is Key
The sign reading “Jesus had two dads and he turned out just fine!” is beyond surprising, since churches are not exactly known for being too accepting of those who are different from them, such as members of the LGBT community. That is why by putting up a statement like that, St. John’s Anglican Church demonstrates just how welcoming they are towards all kinds of people of color, race and gender. That sign is one all other churches should take an example from!
Eyes And Ears
Your next door neighbor might turn a blind eye when seeing you not pick up your dog’s droppings and your mom might look the other way when their children sweep the dirt under the carpet instead of cleaning the house like they promised, but God has eyes and ears everywhere. For that reason, when acting in an inappropriate way, one should think of the type of person they are trying to be instead of who can see them misbehave.
Spells Of Christ
Finding a catch phrase that speaks to all types of target group is a hard task. As a matter of fact, most marketers who specialize in this turf precisely will admit it is nearly impossible to come up with a message that applies to all. That is why these church signs are so clever – since they are interchangeable, they can target different types of people every time. Take this sign for example, which is meant to play on the heartstrings of Harry Potter readers.
Divorce is usually a topic that is frowned upon by the church since it undermines that sanctity of marriage in the eyes of God. Because of this very reason, the sign in the picture below is such a rare sight. Reading “God wants full custody, not just weekend visits” struck hard for those who have recently gone through a divorce, since separating from the one you swore to love until death do you part is a hard enough task as it is without bringing children into the mix.
Map Of The Soul
The world of tech demands constant attention from those who want to stay at the top of their field, as innovation is key. This concept usually does not go hand in hand with more old-fashioned matters such as religion, but instead of giving in to defeat, this church decided to use that very fact to its benefit. If you are driving in an unknown territory, you would probably turn to either a G.P.S. or a map. However, if your soul feels like it has lost direction, just come to church!